Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Oh, the Pain!

I have recently come to realize that my bed is trying to kill me. For a long time now, I have had chronic neck and back pain. I've always thought it was because of my strenuous lifestyle, (no laughing please) but it's really my bed.

Yesterday, I awoke with HORRIBLE lower back pain. I couldn't stand up straight. I couldn't bend over. As if that wasn't fun enough, my neck decided it didn't need me to look more than a couple inches to the left. I felt like an old man!

Not this Oldman,

but this kind:

As it would turn out, I had to leave my house instead of quietly, painfully, sitting at my computer all day. So I ventured out. My first stop was the post office. It's a normal post office where you walk through some double doors into a large room with P.O. Boxes, then go through another set of double doors to get in line to talk to someone who works there.

Well, I had made it past the first set of doors and was shuffling to the second set. I was slightly stooped over because if I didn't, I would have had a back spasm and collapsed on the postage meters. I got to the next set of doors and was carefully pulling one open when a lady passed me going out.

She was in her forties, dressed like a nice, normal housewife. What was not nice and normal was that she was glaring at me! She had this look of disgust on her face that took me aback. She obviously wanted to spit something at me, but instead she merely glared and walked on by.

I wanted to turn to see if she was going to hit me from behind, but my neck said "no". The pain from my neck jolted me up straight and I convulsed from the shooting back pain. I shuffled and groaned, slightly stooped, and prayed for a car to crash through the building so I would have an excuse to lie down on the floor.

I hadn't gone but a few feet -- I won't tell you how long it took to do that -- when I noticed a man in front of me. He looked to be about eighty years old. He was slightly stooped over, semi-shuffling, making quiet groans every step or so. He looked like I felt. It all clicked into place...

That housewife thought I was making fun of that poor old man.

Just get me some ibuprofen and leave me alone...

1 comment:

Byrd said...

Yikes. Makes for a hilarious story though!